


No More Dreams

by Andropedia



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15433137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andropedia/pseuds/Andropedia
Summary: It's just a moment.





	No More Dreams

“Scoot over!” Ahsoka’s cheerful voice demands, and her Mirialan friend quickly follows suit; Vacating the spot next to her on the sill above on of the temples large windows. The Togruta quickly slouches down next to her, an ice cream cone in her hand; She has asked the other girl if she wanted some too, but as usually she politely declined, because milk. Although Ahsoka is pretty sure it’s synthetic anyway.

It’s an increasingly rare moment between missions they get to spend alone. They’d usually steal away from their masters, even leaving their com links behind. Only sitting together, talking and bantering, counting the speeders that pass close to the temple, or playing innocent force tricks on the non-Jedi passing on the plaza beneath.

This time around they only sit there, watching the sun slowly decline towards the horizon.

 

“Why did you do it?” the Mirialan inquires seriously, after they’ve been there for a while. There is something rather accusatory about the way she says it.

 

“Do what?” Ahsoka replies, not exactly knowing what she’s getting at.

 

“Why did you save me?” the other girl clarifies.

 

“I don’t know.” the Togruta replies, unsure where she is going with it. “I could so I did.”

 

“You shouldn’t have. It was reckless and stupid. And you endangered the whole station.” Barriss’ voice slightly shifts towards anger.

 

“So I should have let you die, or even killed you?” Ahsoka retorts incredulously, now turning towards her friend, an equally agitated expression on her face.

 

“Yes. That would have been the right thing to do.” the Mirialan insists.

 

Ahsoka remembers the way Anakin had looked at her in the medical bay. How he had looked between them. Telling her Barriss would be thankful for her saving her. The Togruta falls silent for a moment, unsure what she’s even supposed to answer to that. That right in this moment she would have sacrificed every single clone and Jedi on that station, if it meant she might could have saved her friend. The notion she would have actually done that, frightens her.

 

“Thank you for saving me.” the Mirialan states quietly after the long period of silence. Even though there would usually be nothing strange or unexpected about the statement, Ahsoka is taken entirely by surprise and initially looks at the other girl bewildered, not having expected it, after what has just been said. The Togruta looks at her friend puzzled for a moment, entirely forgetting about their surroundings.

 

The Mirialan only smiles at her, a slight hind of roguishness in her expression, and uses her puzzled state to quickly reach for the ice cream cone in Ahsoka’s hand, easily untangling it from her grip. Her hand lightly brushes over the skin on the other taller girls forearm, and faintly ghosting the back of Ahsoka’s hand and fingers, sending soft shivers through her whole body. For a moment she can do nothing, but stare at the olive skinned girl contentedly licking the ice cream, smiling into the distance, still eyeing the Togruta from the corner of her eyes.

Ahsoka’s first impulse is to wrestle the object of desire back from her, but as she is looking at her, something changes, and she only watches her, trying to commit every last detail of the moment to her memory as truthfully as she can. It’s these moments, when she tries to imagine, what it would be like to be something more than friends. When she doesn’t feel like they belong into this life anymore.

Sometimes she quietly fantasies about running away. Not necessarily the both of them. Just her. Although more than often she is caught up in the thought of leaving it all behind. The war. The lives neither of them chosen for themselves. And every time she tells herself she is going to bring it up next time. They are the daydreams of a pubescent of course. But neither blithe nor innocent.

 

“Soka?” the Mirialan’s soft voice snaps her out of it.

 

“Hmmm.” the Togruta hums in response, feeling slightly caught, and turns to look ahead into the distance again too. A moment later a small hand appears in her view, holding out the ice cream cone right under her nose, she accepts wordlessly, only lightly pumping their shoulders together in response. The utterly natural gesture prompting the other girl to easily rest her head on the Togruta’s shoulder, cushioned by her head tail. At first Ahsoka’s tenses at the sudden display of affection, but then eases again, indulging in the comforting familiarity and tenderness. The easiness it comes with leads the younger Jedi back to her last thought.

 

“Promise me this won’t be the last time.” Barriss implores, after another long moment of quiet togetherness, a shadow of sad seriousness over her otherwise soft and warm voice. Ahsoka doesn’t need to look at her to know the Mirialan’s expression has turned from the subtle happiness to melancholy. The underlying notion twists Ahsoka’s heart into a knot. She wants to answer, but the words are stuck in her tongue. Whatever she would be about to say feeling like nothing but a lie.

 

“I see.” Barriss’ quiet voice establishes after a minute of the other girl not saying anything. It stings even more; Ahsoka has no other option but to endure it helplessly, and a single hot tear runs down her cheek.

 

“If it is, there is something I need to do.” the Mirialan says, barely audible. A short moment the older girl quietly takes the Togruta’s hand, tenderly interlacing their fingers, and Ahsoka’s heart starts pounding in her chest. Barriss without another word lifts her head off her shoulder, quasi breaking contact, except for holding her hand. The taller girl has eyes trained on the horizon, not daring to look at her friend, the orange of her face looking a lot darker than moments ago.

 

“Hey snips.” the older Jedi’s voice catches her attention again. She is aware she never called Ahsoka that; And that she hates it when other people adopt the nickname her master has given her. Predictably the other girls head snaps around, an irritated look on her face. But when she’s facing the Mirialan, their faces are suddenly only inches away from each other. The Togruta’s heart skips a beat, and before she can do anything else, their lips touch. The kiss is soft and hesitant, and only lasts for a brief moment, before the other girl pulls away wordlessly, leaving Ahsoka staring at her, completely overwhelmed by what just transpired, as she again looks into the distance. A million things go through the taller girl’s head. For a moment she thinks she is going to say something. Anything. But then she remembers again, and instead scoots over to Barriss, their shoulders once more touching, their fingers still interlaced from before. The older girl quietly accepts the touch she offers, and again rests her head on her shoulder.

 

They spend the rest of the evening remaining there, sharing what’s left of the ice cream and watching the sun set over the distant structures and buildings of Coruscant.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit this turned out a lot heavier than I had intended. I only threw this together this evening, so I'm not entirely convinced it's any good. I know I know. QA was never my strong suit. Thanks for reading anyways!


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